Christian Grey Did My U/S This Morning!

Oh what a day to have my U/S!  Everyone at the doctor's office had dressed up and I had "Christian Grey" do my U/S this morning.  "Oh My!" LOL!  My regular doctor wasn't in yet since it was so early.  It was good luck:

For all you lucky dogs who don't know what this means let me explain.  L1-L5 is my left ovary and the follicles are what are growing that hold the eggs.  The 1 and 2 across the top are the dimensions of the follicle and the mean is the size.  So you would read this that I have 3 follicles on my left ovary and 2 on the right. Yes indeed, FIVE FOLLICLES!  The size when they are good to go for ovulation is around 18+ so "Christian" told me I should have 3-4 ready to go by time I trigger on Friday night.  Then I have my IUI on Sunday morning.  Since it is taking place in November I will lovingly refer to the IUI moving forward as "getting basted" in honor of Thanksgiving.  :)  The most follicles ready to go in the past has been 3.  I have been extremely crampy the past week or so and knew something had to be going on in there.  This is great news!

I have also made the decision that this will be my last "basting" either way.  Hopefully I will be pregnant and not have to worry about it or we will move on to more aggressive treatment in 2013.  Please keep me in your prayers and hope lucky #3 is it!

Julie

Halloween Fun...and Upcoming U/S

We had a fun Halloween (weekend) this year going as the "jock and the cheerleader".  Had so much fun making our costumes and wearing them.  Go to my CRAFT page to see the details!

Update on this cycle I am at CD10 and still bleeding.  This has happened before and I am pretty sure it is the Letrozole.  I also have been feeling crampy which I take as a good sign that the follicles are growing in there. I am going to acupuncture tonight and I have my U/S this week Wednesday (good luck it is on Halloween?).  Maybe my costume will be good luck...I haven't actually read this book "Every Drunken Cheerleader...Why Not Me" but hey it can't hurt right! :).  I have downloaded on my Nook and am ready to go! http://www.juliesjunkdrawer.blogspot.com/p/reading.html

Anyways, fingers crossed for some nice big ripe follicles on Wednesday!

Julie

IUI #3

Good Morning,

Thought I would just put out the update that we are heading down the path to IUI #3.  I was hopeful that my Laparoscopy would be the magic trick, but no such luck.  Hopefully it will still help with increased odds that this will be the lucky month.

Here are the details:

Letrozole 125 CD3-12
Follicular U/S Date TBD
Ovidrel
IUI Date TBD

I'm having a hard time even being hopefully about this one.  I am only just starting the meds. though so I have  some time to get myself in a little better mood about this.  As of right now I'm not quite sure how to feel.

Julie

Want to hear me play my guitar and sing?

Alright everyone, I promised this awhile back on my music page that I would record a video of me playing my guitar and I decided to sing too.  It isn't a great video, I by no means sound good but it is fun and I enjoy doing it.  So go ahead, click on the music tab above or click here: http://www.juliesjunkdrawer.blogspot.com/p/music.html

The Best Things in Life Aren't Things

I have a little sign in my kitchen that says exactly what the title says, "The Best Things in Life Aren't Things".   I often have to remind myself because I am somewhat of what my Mom always called me: A pack rat!  I am nowhere near a hoarder because I do hate clutter.  I love to shop, and while that is fine I don't enjoy giving things up.  I want to do it, but for some reason the act of actually doing it is difficult.  Most of the time I have to sit and force myself to pack things to give away and often times go back through and pull things back out. This has lead to holding on to WAY too much stuff that should have been "donated" long ago.  I often think, well what if this comes back into fashion, or I can use this for fabric on something else.  Sometimes I will get a second use out of something that reinforces this type of behavior.

I want to make a goal to go through and "clean" house to rid my closets of things that I no longer need!

This picture doesn't apply to the blog post, but isn't she cute! :)

Julie

#8

This post is going to be focusing on #8 from my previous post because this is what I really want to focus on in October.  If you want this post to make sense go back and read my previous post.

#8.  You are doing the best you can in the situation you are in.  Keep exploring the things you love, don't act as if life is on pause because it isn't. 

This has been extremely important to me the past 3 years and often when others ask about how I deal with IF I bring this up.  Each new month brings a whole new series of doctors, testing, waiting, drugs...did I say waiting.  I hate that part the most.  At least the other things make you feel like you are accomplishing something, maybe getting closer to getting pregnant, maybe finding out new information, but the waiting is miserable.  Many times I would think, well if I can just get to this date or that date, if I can get through this month.  

This mind set is a great way to miss out on all the good things life has to offer.  Life isn't on pause. You start thinking, well maybe I'm not getting pregnant because I am exercising too much, or not enough, or maybe its my diet, maybe we aren't having enough sex, or too much...You start questioning and worrying about everything single thing you are doing.  It can start to feel as if life is on pause until the next treatment, the next doctors appointment, the next cycle, IF is all you think about...or all you write about in your blog. LOL.  

Infertility is so uncertain, and downright depressing but I'd like to use this post to focus on more positive things that I have done.

Here are a few things I have accomplished while waiting:

- run my first 1/2 marathon

- gone hunting for the first time/got my first deer

- learned how to sew

- learned to play the guitar

- celebrated 3 wedding anniversaries

- learned to love and enjoy cooking

- started doing my own canning (including my seriously delicious salsa)

- planted and grown my own garden each year

- began reading "for fun" again

I'd love to hear from YOU what kind of things have you accomplished while WAITING?

Julie

Things I Would Say

I'm going to try and make this post as least depressing as possible, but for those of us suffering with IF most milestones are not fun ones.  October marks the "3 years or 36 Months of TTC" anniversary for my husband and me.  I can't decide if they have been the longest 3 years of my life or the shortest!?   There are many things I wish I could tell my "Julie of 3 Years Ago" self.  Here goes:

#1.  Stop being so hard on yourself.  This isn't going to be easy, but you will make it.

#2.  You aren't in control, I know you think you are but you aren't!

#3.  Write things down.  Know what tests have been done and which ones haven't.  Take charge of your health and treatments.

#4.  Trust your instinct.  If you think something isn't working, don't keep trying the same thing month after     month.  It WON'T work!

#5.  Don't be afraid to reach out for help sooner.  You will find more support than you would ever expect in places you would never expect.

#6.  Take it easy on your poor husband.  He can't even begin to understand what you are going through.  In fact, in three years he still won't fully understand.  Take time to explain things to him.

#7.  Communicate often, don't hold things in.

#8.  You are doing the best you can in the situation you are in.  Keep exploring the things you love, don't act as if life is on pause because it isn't.

#9.  Take care of yourself.  Love yourself because you are going to dip into some of the lowest lows and you are going to need to be strong and pick yourself back up.  You can do it.

#10.  Be patient and lean on your faith in God.  He knows what is best for you, even if at many times it doesn't seem like it.  He does have a plan for you, but it still hasn't been revealed.  Use your faith to help other women suffering with IF to remain hopeful that one day we will all find our contentment.

I can't believe it has been 3 years.  I have come to realize that infertility has given me something.  Patience, that one is obvious.  Strength, I am mentally stronger than I would have ever imagined.  Wisdom, my eyes have been opened to a world that is real, things don't always come easy, things aren't always as they seem.  Humility, what is more humbling than realizing your aren't in control of your body.  Love, our relationship has been tested time and time again, we pick each other apart and said things we can never take back, but at the end of the day we are able to put the pieces back together and say we are more in love than we have ever been.

This is a time to reflect on what has happened, and an exciting time as we finally move forward with a diagnosis and an idea of what we are up against.  It isn't going to be easy and I don't know how it is going to turn out, but I move forward in faith and trust that things will work out and God will continue to bless our family.

Julie