Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Fertile Infertile: Living A Double Life

It happened...

I don't even remember where I was or who said it, but someone called me a "Fertile Myrtle".  No big deal right!?  In May I will have 2 children under the age of 2, so to the common person it seems as though it must be super easy for me to get knocked up!  It was so shocking to me to not only hear it, but to actually wonder...what am I?  Am I a Fertile Myrtle?  Am I still considered infertile?  I don't know where I belong.  Is there some place where people in my situation warp to when we no longer fit into the category of being infertile, but still not completely a normal fertile person?  

I wonder if maybe I am just that person that you hear about...you know, your friends co-worker who went through 4 years of infertility before getting pregnant through IVF and then just magically got pregnant again after?  Oh shit!  I am that person!  I hate that person!

I know that I can still identify with someone experiencing infertility, but no longer live in the immediate pain of the unknown.  My story is resolved, my family has begun.  At times remembering infertility is like a horrible nightmare that couldn't have really happened.  There was no way that life could have been that cruel, but it was real.  I have the physical scars to prove it.  I have this blog to remind me what I went through and how I felt.  I remember the countless nights laying in bed crying myself to sleep and wondering how I would be able to get out of bed the next day.  I remember waiting each month only to be disappointed by the reality of another failed cycle.  Last but not least I have my absolutely beautiful amazing son conceived through ICSI IVF, my tangible proof that I battled infertility and I won.  

I am not fertile or infertile.  I will not let those terms define who I am.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

Happy New Year!

I'm already a little late but things have been hectic as usual.  Big news this month is our little man is walking!!  He started with a couple steps and then the next day took off.  I definitely know now why they are called Toddlers.  He certainly does toddle when he walks and thinks it is hilarious to get walking and then fall in a big dramatic heap.

Christmas was wonderful this year spending time with family and friends.  This year was odd having the holiday falling on Thursday so having to work on Friday.  Work is another story...I'm concerned about some hefty goals they've put into place basically doubling our activity and goals.  Nothing this 5 months pregnant Momma can't handle but sheesh bad timing as I get closer to my due date and more exhausted with long days.  I can only do my best right!?

Enough about work, Monday is our anatomy scan and gender reveal!!  I'm so excited although I'm fairly certain we have another little boy on our hands.  I guess we will see.  We are starting to discuss planning our move date!!  No movement on the house but I feel at some point with a baby on the way we need to get settled.  Hopefully it just sells and we are forced to get the heck out!

I look forward to 2015 with so much excitement for what is to come.  I cherish being a Momma to a wonderful Little boy and our little dove on the way.  I will never forget what it took to get where we are and cherish the strength I've gained by struggling.  Here's to the New Year!