Thursday, October 4, 2012

Things I Would Say

I'm going to try and make this post as least depressing as possible, but for those of us suffering with IF most milestones are not fun ones.  October marks the "3 years or 36 Months of TTC" anniversary for my husband and me.  I can't decide if they have been the longest 3 years of my life or the shortest!?   There are many things I wish I could tell my "Julie of 3 Years Ago" self.  Here goes:

#1.  Stop being so hard on yourself.  This isn't going to be easy, but you will make it.

#2.  You aren't in control, I know you think you are but you aren't!

#3.  Write things down.  Know what tests have been done and which ones haven't.  Take charge of your health and treatments.

#4.  Trust your instinct.  If you think something isn't working, don't keep trying the same thing month after     month.  It WON'T work!

#5.  Don't be afraid to reach out for help sooner.  You will find more support than you would ever expect in places you would never expect.

#6.  Take it easy on your poor husband.  He can't even begin to understand what you are going through.  In fact, in three years he still won't fully understand.  Take time to explain things to him.

#7.  Communicate often, don't hold things in.

#8.  You are doing the best you can in the situation you are in.  Keep exploring the things you love, don't act as if life is on pause because it isn't.

#9.  Take care of yourself.  Love yourself because you are going to dip into some of the lowest lows and you are going to need to be strong and pick yourself back up.  You can do it.

#10.  Be patient and lean on your faith in God.  He knows what is best for you, even if at many times it doesn't seem like it.  He does have a plan for you, but it still hasn't been revealed.  Use your faith to help other women suffering with IF to remain hopeful that one day we will all find our contentment.

I can't believe it has been 3 years.  I have come to realize that infertility has given me something.  Patience, that one is obvious.  Strength, I am mentally stronger than I would have ever imagined.  Wisdom, my eyes have been opened to a world that is real, things don't always come easy, things aren't always as they seem.  Humility, what is more humbling than realizing your aren't in control of your body.  Love, our relationship has been tested time and time again, we pick each other apart and said things we can never take back, but at the end of the day we are able to put the pieces back together and say we are more in love than we have ever been.

This is a time to reflect on what has happened, and an exciting time as we finally move forward with a diagnosis and an idea of what we are up against.  It isn't going to be easy and I don't know how it is going to turn out, but I move forward in faith and trust that things will work out and God will continue to bless our family.



Amber said...

Julie this is a beautiful post...#8 is especially true. I'd change a lot of things if I could have gone back and told myself similar things 4.5 yrs ago. An IF anniversary is certainly not the type of anniversary you want to celebrate, but I'm glad you have out a positive spin on it. May you never have to think about this anniversary again... I'm hopin an praying for you both!! I hope this is your year Julie.

Amber said...

Also-I love the new blog look:)

Kisha @ Signalling the Stork said...

I know how you are feeling. July marked 3 years of TTC for my husband and I. In that time I was diagnosed with PCOS and had a miscarriage.

Even now, I am 6 weeks pregnant, and terrified that this is not the end of our TTCing.

Julie said...

Thanks ladies. I've been feeling a lot better lately. Some days it feels like hope has returned and that this IS going to work! I'm just so sick of waiting...I want my baby NOW! :)

Julie said...

Congrats Kisha...hopefully this pregnancy will be uneventful! :)

Em said...

#3 is so important but I have never been very good at it. Now that we're starting fertility treatments again, I am going to try to take charge of my own health and speak up with doctors and nurses a bit more. Thanks for the inspiration. And best wishes to you on your journey.