Friday, January 25, 2013

Consent Forms

Hello again bloggy friends.  I've been writing a lot because I have A LOT on my mind lately.  This just goes to show you how life consuming IF really is.  Today I pulled out the paperwork for the: Consent to freezing (cryopreservation) of fertilized human eggs (embryos).  This basically gives our consent to freeze the embryos, but also when should be done with them in the event that something happens to one or both of us.  

This is a big decision to think about.  I'm going to go ahead and put this at the top of my biggest adult decision ever.  We have some options:

  • Dispose of in an appropriate fashion
  • Transfer to Practice for anonymous donation to other patients
  • Donate to Practice for research
  • Transferred to another party
Due to my beliefs there are really only two options that I have to choose between and that is donate or transfer.  My first instinct was donate.  If the situation ever came up I think it would be a wonderful gift to give another couple who has been through infertility.  Then that other option came up...transfer...  I don't know who I would transfer it to, but what if a family member ended up going through similar struggles and needed a donor.  Wouldn't I want them to have the option to take ours?  Who knows? That situation might not come up at all, but what if it did?  Then there is the burden of legal documentation, responsibility to that person for financial payments for the storage.  Then again what if I donated, I am dead and my poor family has to wonder if there is some potential genetic connection to me out in the world somewhere and they will never get to meet him/her.

Haven't I made enough decisions already and now I have to think about dying and what to do with my poor defenseless embryos.  

These are the decisions infertile couples have to think about when trying to grow their family.  Thank your lucky stars if some of the biggest decisions you ever had to make about your future child was what to name them and what color to paint their room.  Sorry for sounding so bitter. :(

Julie

4 comments:

Amber said...

Ah the tough decisions! We opted to donate ours (in case you are wondering). I figured if we won't be around a piece if us may still continue on in this world. Do you have to decide what to do if you get divorced? That one was the most weird for me...again, in case your wondering, the embryos will be left to me. So we could be divorced and I could have my ex-husbands kids. Weird. The things you have to think about when undergoing IVF. Good luck with your decision! It's definitely not easy!

julie Thomas said...

Yes! Totally understand. Those are the decisions we also have to make and they are never easy ones. Good luck and no matter what choice you make it will be the right one for you both.

Nikki Kueffer said...

Maybe look to your family for help on this one. Instead of wondering how they would feel just pose the "what if?" situation to them and open up the discussion. That is what a support system is for after all, to share the load and help when you are feeling overwhelmed. I know in the end you will make the right decision for you, and I really admire you for going through all of this and staying as strong as you have. You can do this Julie.

Julie said...

Thank you so much! We were happy to have another month to make this decision. It will give us some time to really think about what makes the most sense for us.

Yes Amber, the divorce question did make me a little queasy as well.