Monday, January 21, 2013

Waiting for AF

Sheesh that has never come across my mind before, waiting for my period (Aunt Flow) to show up?  Yes, we can't get started until my period arrives and not that I want it to, but I like knowing when things are going to happen and now that I have my meds. figured out that is the next step...waiting for AF.  According to my "schedule" it should arrive tomorrow since I started tracking I have been fairly regular, but right when I have things figured out is usually when things go a-muck.  I expect this to be no different.  So right now I am approximately CD30 and 13DPO (based on my estimated ovulation, which was painful this month...unless that was just gas, then I have no idea...LOL).

This weekend I had a major meltdown.  Everything seem to come to a head and I just felt so tired of it all.  I cried... hard, I stared into space, I laid around and did nothing all day Sunday.  Today I woke up with a new light, a new inspiration, I caught a glimpse of my tattoo in the mirror (my hope sign) and felt ready to close a chapter and begin a new one.  In the old chapter I leave a lot of pain, sadness, uncertainty and stress.  In this new chapter I feel proud of myself for making it this far, pride in the strength of my marriage and bond my husband and I have formed, and amazed that no matter how many times I have been knocked down that I have been able to get back up.  In this new chapter I know that I am ready to take on the injections, take on the hormones and whatever else crosses my path during this IVF cycle.  Bring it on!

Julie

2 comments:

julie Thomas said...

I too am waiting for Aunt Flo! So we can start our IVF cycle. I hope she arrives soon! Lol you never thought you would actually WANT her to come like NOW!! Lol you are in my thoughts and prayers and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. You have been through so much, this is just another step towards your dream and a risk you are willing to take. Stay positive! :)

Nikki Kueffer said...

Love your new chapter! I too am trying to change my attitude and focus of our infertility journey. I hope AF has arrived by now and I'm praying for you everyday :)