Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Feeling A Little Anxiety About Upcoming Procedure

Okay so I knew that this was coming...this "anxiety" about my upcoming laparoscopy on September 19th.   For whatever reason it hit me this Sunday as I was having a great time with my friends at a water park in Wisconsin Dells.  I looked down at my stomach and thought.."oh..next summer there will be a scar there."  Then I began to think about the specifics, being put under, the incision into my mid-section, the scope going in.  What if they go in and don't find anything!??  What will I do?  Why oh why did I have to start thinking about this already!?  This is how my mind works.

Lately, I have had a few people - (my therapist, my boss and my husband) say that I need to focus on the here and now, the day to day.  I need to give the BIG PICTURE a break and look at what I am doing now, but I am not programmed that way.   I like to think 5 steps ahead of where I am at and for our specific circumstance which I have no control of (infertility) I am not able to think that way.   I guess the only thing I can do is try to create some short term goals each month (anyone read the "Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin? similar idea to what she does).  

So...starting in September I am hoping to do just that, "Goals for September".  I will create 5 specific attainable goals for myself and share them with you here on my blog.  At the start of the new month I will go back and give you my progress report and my new goals for the following month.  I am going to keep them in a little notebook/journal that I will keep with me in my purse and when I start getting anxious about the future, I can refer to my 5 goals.  My 5 things that I will be able to control.  See you in September!


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