Friday, February 8, 2013

Hey Who Is Running The Show Here?

Sometimes IF causes you to believe that a lot of the control is taken away from you.  You can't control your body and therefore you feel sometimes like you can't control your life.  It almost feels like your uterus begins to run the show because she decides when your cycle starts, she decides when it ends.  You find yourself going crazy because you are pleading with your uterus!  You get mad at her.  "Why oh why did you form a cyst this month?", "How could you let my period show up again?"  You think giving her the silent treatment thinking maybe that will get her to cave.

This has become ever more clear to me lately when I find myself letting my uterus control life decisions.  Should I plan a vacation, well... what if my uterus decides she wants to be pregnant by then.  What if she decides to ovulate this weekend and I need to be home, ... what if she decides to let my period start and I will be an emotional mess.

We just spent $15,000 on my uterus and she can't even cooperate.  Now I have a refrigerator full of meds.  a maxed out credit card and still nothing to show for it.  Thanks a lot fricken uterus.  You just want to tell her...forget it!  I don't need you anymore, but you do.  So she gets to run the show.  She makes the decisions.

Julie

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