Monday, April 22, 2013

8 Weeks & Graduation to OB

I made my appointment with the OB!!  It feels good, but scary!  Am I ready for this?  I've been having a lot of feelings that I am coping with being newly pregnant and still harboring all the pain of infertility.  I think I am struggling because I have not been feeling well lately.  I am very nauseas even on the medication which actually has helped, but I am still very queasy and TIRED.  I KNOW |I KNOW this is normal for the first trimester, but what isn't normal is going through 3 1/2 years of infertility to get here and so I think I am just feeling worn out.  So to talk to anybody who hasn't been through infertility and then gotten pregnant I keep hearing...this is what you wanted, or this is what being pregnant is like.  Yes, I know this, but I am still trying to recover from IVF and all the emotional drain of the past years while dealing with the new pregnancy symptoms.

I hate to sound ungrateful because you better believe I am so excited and happy and wouldn't change my situation for anything, but at the same time I think dealing with a little residual depression from IF.  I have one more month of PIO shots and estrogen and at that point I will be 12 weeks when I hear nausea tends to let up.  I am looking forward to it!  In the meantime, I am going to work on giving myself a break and trying not to be so hard on myself when I need to sleep instead of cleaning or feeling down about lack of exercise because I feel sick.


1 comment:

Nikki Kueffer said...

You do not sound ungrateful at all, you sound pregnant. Those hormones will do a number on you just think you are not only dealing with the ones that your body is producing but also all of the extra ones that you have to inject and add into the mix. Early pregnancy can be difficult for woman who haven't had to live through the pain of IF so you are completely justified in feeling the way you do right now. I will tell you though that when you see that baby for the first time and hear it crying it will heal all of that pain and though you will never forget where you've been and what you had to endure to have this child you WILL feel better. And as for the morning sickness, I can tell you I'm right there with you and it totally sucks. I will say that being almost 15 weeks now I definitely have more energy than I did a few weeks ago so that will get better for sure, but for now don't worry about all that household stuff and just nap when you need to. Your body is making a tiny human it takes a lot out of you :)