23 Weeks! ...and a sad note

I would like to start out by saying that 23 is my FAVORITE NUMBER!  I was born on the 23rd so maybe that is why.  I have nothing else to attribute my love for the number to.  Click to see this weeks belly pic.  However this week I have to focus this post elsewhere than baby...

Last week was very tough for us.  We lost our "first baby" Bosko who was our almost 13 year old Springer Spaniel. 

I'm still having a very rough time with it.  I'd like to explain, but first I want to write a little bit about Bosko.  We got him about 5 years ago on Halloween weekend.  I found a picture of him online and found out he was at the humane society in the town that I grew up in which is not far away.  He had been brought in as a stray with no information on him, but the humane society had him named Arwin.  I needed to go meet him right away.  I had my Mom come along with me to check things out and instantly fell in love with his big brown eyes, big floppy ears and cute little cropped tail (later to be known as his turd tail).  He was the only dog at the humane society not barking so we let him out in the play area and the first thing he wanted was to get up and sit on the picnic table.  He continued to love sitting on top of picnic tables ... I still don't know why.

Anyways, I filled out the paperwork and he was mine and his new name was BOSKO!  A name I had picked in admiration of a friend I had made while studying in Australia whose last name was Bosko.  The only thing was that night we had planned a Halloween party at the house which was not the ideal situation for a new scared dog, but Bosko did great!  He loved everyone and was such a sweet guy.  He also showed his first naughty side since we went out we left him alone and when we got home he had broken out of the basement, gone upstairs and torn up the garbage can.  He even let me take this picture of him with part of my costume: 

From the start Bosko was such a handsome guy.  Every where I went people would stop me to tell me how beautiful Bosko was.  Even straight "off the streets" he was one of the most adorable dogs I had ever met... Maybe that is just my bias:

...and then we gave him this hair cut:

He stole my heart from that moment on.  No matter how many odd quirks Bosko had, he loved his Momma with everything he had and I loved him back.  I remember his first vet appointment having the vet tell me he could tell I was his main caretaker and that he was such a good boy being at the vet and that he probably felt safe being with me. 

 

I don't remember how much longer after we had him Bosko became famous for another odd quirk of his which became known as tableclothing.  I was in the kitchen one Saturday morning and I noticed Bosko was over by the table kind of walking around under that chairs.  I called him and he didn't respond so I pulled the chairs out and realized he was kind of petting himself by walking under the cloth and letting it run along his fur and making this weird clicking sound with his tongue.  That is how tableclothing was born.

Some of Bosko's other biggest quirks was that he thought he was a lap dog, all 60+ pounds...

...and he loved keeping us in line about keeping our laundry put away...or he would sleep on them:

We'll never forget Bosko's first trip out fishing in our new boat.  He had so much fun watching the birds and of course barking at them...

...and when we caught the one and only fish for the day, he ate the tail off of it:

Then it came time we decided to get Bosko a little sister:

He didn't seem to mind splitting the attention and letting Lady rule the roost.  He would keep himself busy tableclothing and napping.  (2 of his favorite things) and letting us dress him up (okay maybe that was one of my favorite things):

 

******************sad stuff to come*************

Over the past year we have really noticed Bosko starting to slow down.  He has arthritis in his joints, he was starting to only be able to handle much shorter walks.  We knew that due to old age that this was how things happen.  Over the past month we knew Bosko was really starting to go down hill fast, I'm not going to go over everything, but finally last week when I called the vet to describe his symptoms I knew either way there would be an extremely difficult decision to make.  Everything pointed to kidney failure and while we could have decided to try and make things a little more comfortable, things would only start getting much worse for him.  I would not see my "baby" go through it when I knew there was a much more humane decision.  So last Thursday as when I brought him home, I called my Mom to come with me (Dick was at work and could not get home) to take him into the vet.  I've had dogs in the past that we have had to put to sleep, but never when it was just "my" dog.  It was the most peaceful thing, despite how sad I was pretty much sobbing through the whole thing, but being there for my friend who had been by my side through everything the past 5 years as he slowly closed his eyes for the last time.  I am crying as I write about this, but still can sense the relief knowing that he didn't have to be in pain anymore.

 

I cried and cried until there were no more tears left to cry.  The more I thought about him the more I began to realize a few things.  One that was the most difficult adult decision I have had to make and two is this:

God plans things in our life perfectly.  Bosko came into our lives at one of the most difficult times I have ever experienced while dealing with infertility for most of the time he was with us.  It sounds kind of corny, but I think God sort of has a sense of humor so hear me out.  Bosko wasn't the perfect dog, in fact he was a little nutty, needy and often times a big pain in the butt.  Those who knew Bosko know I say that very lovingly.  At times it felt like a burden dealing with a dog that had so many quirks, but now looking back that was exactly what I needed.  I needed that feeling of being a Mommy to someone that NEEDED me and not being able to have a baby, Bosko filled that void.  I took care of him and he took care of me when I would come home after finding out another IUI had failed or when we didn't know how to move forward.  He loved me unconditionally.

 

There were days when I would just be crying and he would look at me with his big brown eyes and I wouldn't feel so lonely because I had my Bosko.  He would just lay there quietly and let out a big sigh because he knew when I was in pain.  Its almost as though he could feel it too. 

 

I knew things would be difficult with Bosko once the baby came.  We would have less time to give him the attention he needed and while he is okay around kids I still worry because of how he is when there was food around (being a stray and all kind of does that to you), but I was ready to take on the challenge and thinking of ways we would be able to welcome our new family member in December and make things work.  I pictured all 5 of us sitting taking our first family picture by the Christmas tree.  Things didn't work out that way.  Just as God knew the right time to bring Bosko into our lives he knew when it was time to let him be at peace. 

 

Every time I think of Bosko I will smile because that is the kind of dog he was.  Always doing something that would make us wonder what in the world he was thinking, keeping us on his time schedule and showing his love to everyone who met him.  He will always be in my heart because as much as I'd like to think I rescued him...he rescued me.