I'm BEHIND! William Robert 6/2/17

Let me start off by saying 3 kids is no joke.  I'm a little late BUT William Robert was born on 6/2/17 via VBAC!  Vaginal birth after C-Section.  Here is what I remember...

Thursday 6/1/17 - A normal day at work... I had been stripped at the OB the week before and other than light cramping nothing was really happening.  I had an OB appointment at 8:30 AM and no changes had really occurred. I  think I was still around 1-2cm, not really effaced and things didn't appear to be doing much.  I was stripped again and headed off to work.  Had a normal work day and again had slight cramping but nothing major.  After a routine evening I headed to bed and kissed my hubby good night and said..."See you later when we are headed to the hospital!"  LOL...I was totally joking, only it didn't turn out to be a joke at all.  10:30 PM I am awoken with a feeling like...oh no!  I peed my pants!  I was extremely lucky this pregnancy and was typically sleeping through the night without even getting up so it was really odd.  I stood up and felt a little funny and realized it maybe wasn't pee.  I got to the bathroom, sat down...stood up and realized...it wasn't pee my water broke!!!

Since there wasn't much for contractions I wasn't too worried yet.  I called my Mom and told her what was going on and she headed over to watch R & L while Dick and I packed up for the hospital.  It was a calm ride over about 30 minutes to the hospital.  Nothing but mild cramping at this point and they got me up and settled in my room.  Other than my water being broken there was no changes from the morning.  Unfortunately due to my VBAC attempt I was shackled to the bed...okay not really but I was told I needed to be monitored at all times.  I tried my best to rest, but being checked on every little bit wasn't the most relaxing.

Friday 6/2/17 - About 4 hours after arriving at the hospital they began Pitocin to see if we could get things moving and they started a little at a time.  Finally things got started and I opted for the epidural.  I can't remember all the timing on everything but as things got moving along and I was still feeling contractions to a certain point but I was definitely still uncomfortable and not really making any progress.  Dick left to go grab some food and shortly after a nurse was in to check.  I told her I was uncomfortable around my c-section scar and she told me I had just had a really, really long contraction (not good).  Next thing I knew there were a few nurses and my OB around me and I started to panic.  One of the main risks with VBAC is that the uterine scar could rupture and at that moment was a real threat.  I was still freaking out and Dick was gone and they told me I needed to relax.  I went into meditation mode and started breathing exercises.  I was still feeling so much pain.  The doctor checked again and I was maybe at a 3 but pain was gone from my C-section area and we had to start the drip all over again.  I continued to focus on breathing and relaxing and soon I was starting to feel some downward movement.  Things were finally starting to move along.  When it came time to push I was ready and after 2 long pushes he was out!  I'm terrible and can't remember the exact time, but it was something like 6:47PM, 8 pounds 6oz and 22.5" long!  Dark brown hair!

The next day my Mom brought Richie and Leela to visit their new brother lovingly they call him "Baby WILLMAN" and after the visit Dick took them back home and my Mom stayed to get caught up on all the details.  Auntie Gina (Godmother) stopped in on her way home from Oshkosh and I spent most of the day relaxing with my new little man.  I was feeling great!  When it was time to go home I had a lot of family waiting for us and William got to meet his Aunt, Uncles and cousins on the Suhr side.  They cooked (and cleaned) for us and it was amazing because I was completely exhausted and going through a major hormone crash.

Fast forward... we had an amazing summer including a 4th of July party we hosted at our house.  Maternity leave I had the kids home with me on Tues/Thur/Fri and the older 2 went to daycare M/W so I could spend time with the new baby.  Time flew by and before I knew it I was back to work starting on August 28th.

Recently we finalized the paperwork to donate our 7 remaining embryos to the clinic we used for our IVF and life really feels full circle.  I've had a lot of emotions come up going through the legal paperwork but overall I know in my heart it is the right choice.  Our family is complete and our hearts are full.  I'm thankful every day for this.  Anyways... I hope to find more time to keep my blog updated.  It has been a blessing to have everything written down because one thing is for sure...it is easy to forget where you came from...easy to push aside the pain and pretend it never happened.   I don't want to forget...I want to remember exactly where this journey started and one day I want to be able to share it with our kids.

Julie

Attempting VBAC

Just noticed I never finished this post... from 5/18/17

We are getting very close!  Almost 37 weeks and I can't remember if I mentioned that I will be attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section).  It's actually turning out to be more of an ordeal than you would think.  At 20 weeks I made the decision to change OBs and hospital who would allow the attempted VBAC birth.  I've done a bit of reading, I know the risks but also know if all goes well I am the perfect candidate.  I've had a vaginal birth before, the reason for my C was position of the baby and I have a great support team!

I was checked at my last appointment and still high but maybe 1cm.  We are definitely getting started but not there yet.  That's okay!  I have little bursts of energy here and there but am very sleepy by around 7:30-8.

....

 

I never really expected this day to come...

Many of you reading my blog know that my husband and I struggled with infertility issues before going through IVF to have our first child.  After our marriage in 2009 we threw out the birth control and thought lets start our family.  Fast forward to mid 2011 and still no baby and a trip to the OB starting with small doses of femara, moving right along to a fertility specialist in January 2012 and a year including 3 failed IUI's and heartbreak.  Ready to start IVF in early 2013 our first month was cancelled due to an ovarian cyst.  The very next month we produced some high quality embryos and SUCCESS.  Pregnant with one healthy baby leaving 7 embryos frozen, still no diagnosis.

Fast forward again, healthy baby boy in December and surprise a natural pregnancy later in 2014 resulting in healthy baby girl!  Decided to go on mirena for a year and then off then hoping for a 3rd child we were excited to be pregnant again naturally in fall 2016 (expected due date June 5 of this year).  We have decided our hearts and our home is full as a family of 5.  We get our annual embryo donation storage letter and payment due April.  I often get very emotional about it and this year is no different knowing it is decision time.  There has never been a doubt about what we want to do when the time came, we will donate but I'm having a much harder time with it than I expected.  Then again I never expected to become pregnant naturally after struggling so much the first time around.

Every time I look at the letter or think about calling I burst into a bucket of tears.  I remember all the pain, frustration, heart break, worry and think about how I never expected this day to come.  Mom of soon to be 3.  I do realize that as part of our embryo donation we will hopefully be helping another families dreams come true and I feel blessed to be able to offer it, but it doesn't make it any less emotional.  Our DNA child/ren could possibly be out there someday and we will never know.  That will be with me every single day of my life.

Anyways, decision is made.  We are truly very lucky and I am so happy that we can help someone else.  I pray and I try to let go as I let God watch over my 7 embabies and their future.  I look at my 2 soon 3 beautiful children and thank God because there was a time I didn't know if I would ever become a Mom.

Julie

Beating Winter Blues

Winter's in Wisconsin tend to be a little ... well... horrible.  This one has been no different.  We have had a few days of relief 40 degree weather and we definitely took advantage when we could.

We had a Zoo Day in January!  Much need relief from our cabin fever. 

Started this post last week so this was my 22 weeks picture.

 This week 23 weeks and morning sickness is pretty well gone...now acid reflux has kicked in.  I'm not sure which is worse.  I wake up to the crackling in my throat and it shows up on and off throughout the day.  This pattern is mirroring pregnancy number #2.  The good news is that the second tri has me feeling much better and with a little more energy.  I think if it wasn't the middle of winter and perhaps we had a little more sun I could say I was feeling good!  I felt my first kicks "on the outside" on my belly and can't wait to hopefully have Dick feel it too.  In February I'm looking forward to hopefully less weight gain, more energy and hopefully thinking about new room arrangements. 

I bought this to start inspiration for G#3's room! 

I'm excited to dig through old clothing totes and maybe a couple new things here and there.

Other exciting news is this week Leela (we call her our naked protester) has started potty training.  I'm going to be honest I really didn't want to, but after days/week maybe of stripping all her clothes off every time she had pee pee in her diaper I thought...heck why not!  She will be 21 months 2/9.  Very advanced I say!

Starting to make plans for March and a Mommy Weekend Away in Chicago.  Its been awhile and honestly I'm going a little stir crazy.

That's all for now!

Julie

Boy or Girl?

We are so excited to announce we are expecting another little boy!  Wow!  My gut feeling was boy, but to be honest I didn't have a clue.  I am weirdly super giddy about it.  Maybe the chance to go through all the old outfits or I have this feeling like, hey maybe I won't be totally clueless this time around? (Lie) Who knows but either way we have another little boy ready to steal our hearts due June 5th 2017.  The name you ask...you will have to wait :). 

Our last appointment with my current doctors office was the ultra sound last week and this week I will make my first visit with my new OB.  I decided to make the change due to the fact that the hospital in town where my OB delivers does not allow the opportunity for VBAC and the new one does.  Will I have one?  Who knows, do I want the option if it is a possibility?  YES!  After experiencing both I have to say the recovery from a vaginal was still painful, but being able to get up out of bed after delivery and no catheter is definitely worth a shot.  I guess we will wait and see how this baby wants to enter the world.

Richie was a little upset since he was sure he had another little sister on the way.  "I don't want a brother!"  Sorry honey, you don't have a choice.  Once I showed him the ultrasound pictures and we talked it over he was onboard.  Not sure Leela really understands what is going on yet.  When she does I don't think she is going to like it.

Tomorrow night we have a parent informational meeting for 3K.  What!?  Not possible!?  However, I think it is a good choice for our smart little man and the right decision for us.  He will start this fall after I am back to work.  Life will be pure insanity, but I'm sure we will figure out our stride as we always do.  Cheers to having a 3.5yr old, 2yr old and a newborn this summer!  Bite me infertility, I kicked your ass.

Julie

Life in 2017...soon arriving Party of 5

It seems as time goes on I have less and less time to blog.  Hm... I wonder why...lol.  I crack up that I was able to post almost weekly when I was pregnant with Richie.  Now...how many weeks am I with number 3?  *consults cell phone chart* Ah yes, 19 weeks today of course.  Actually we have our 20 week ultrasound next week so that should not be so hard to remember.  R & L tell me it is a girl.  I'm thinking boy.  We will see.

A few topics I'd like to discuss:
...goals: Amidst the winter blues I am excited to start a new year 2017 with high hopes and high goals (at least before June, then all chaos will begin).  Each year we sit and discuss the goals of the upcoming year labeling it 20XX the YEAR OF SAVINGS.  Then that never happens!  Obviously from previous posts you can see we did some major renovations last year.  We were able to sit down and discuss real plans to pay down the home equity loan we used to pay for it setting aside a weekly amount at least until June.  I'm excited, its ambitious but doable. 

...where do we put all these babies?  We have a little rearranging to do before #3 arrives including moving our bedroom downstairs into the room now labeled "toy room", moving L our of her current room "the nursery" and making adjustments to "the nursery" depending on if we are having a little boy or girl.

conversations from the potty... we have made definite strides with potty training our 3 year old.  He started at about age 2.75 ... hm you know what I mean.  He has his ups and downs but here is the part that has me laughing and questioning my parenting skills.  We aren't modest in front of our kids.  Often times when nature calls an adult will be using the bathroom at the same time as R or if one of us is in there he will yell out "I HAVE TO GO POTTY TOO"!  Okay get in here!  Now he has started noticing things like never before... Momma are you pushing "it" down?  We always have to remind him to push it down to keep it from spraying every where. Ummmm  eek oh um no honey, Momma doesn't have to push it down.  As immature as it sounds we have settled on calling "it" a wiener ...um is that bad?  I know I should be saying penis but I just can't.   Anyways, sigh...um honey Moms don't have wieners.  "OH does Grandma have a wiener?" No honey.  Only boys like you and Daddy.  ...more thinking... "where does the pee come from then?"  Ohhhhh sheesh...so many questions.  Yup I said it..."girls have vaginas".  Blank stare.  Conversation to be continued at a later date...  Even more entertaining is our 20 month old girl being super interested in potty training being in the bathroom when Daddy is going potty.  *Mind blown*

Anyways, here we sit in 2017 ready to become a family of 5...if you told me in 2012 that was my future... "Julie in 2017 you will have a family of 5" I would have probably had some choice words for you because it sounds almost as unbelievable as it is.  R will be 3.5, L will be 2 and we will have a newborn.  Unbelievable and crazy!  As always I move forward trusting my gut instincts, working hard for what I want and putting my faith in God that he is right there next to me as we navigate this crazy life!

Julie