Friday, April 21, 2017

I never really expected this day to come...

Many of you reading my blog know that my husband and I struggled with infertility issues before going through IVF to have our first child.  After our marriage in 2009 we threw out the birth control and thought lets start our family.  Fast forward to mid 2011 and still no baby and a trip to the OB starting with small doses of femara, moving right along to a fertility specialist in January 2012 and a year including 3 failed IUI's and heartbreak.  Ready to start IVF in early 2013 our first month was cancelled due to an ovarian cyst.  The very next month we produced some high quality embryos and SUCCESS.  Pregnant with one healthy baby leaving 7 embryos frozen, still no diagnosis.

Fast forward again, healthy baby boy in December and surprise a natural pregnancy later in 2014 resulting in healthy baby girl!  Decided to go on mirena for a year and then off then hoping for a 3rd child we were excited to be pregnant again naturally in fall 2016 (expected due date June 5 of this year).  We have decided our hearts and our home is full as a family of 5.  We get our annual embryo donation storage letter and payment due April.  I often get very emotional about it and this year is no different knowing it is decision time.  There has never been a doubt about what we want to do when the time came, we will donate but I'm having a much harder time with it than I expected.  Then again I never expected to become pregnant naturally after struggling so much the first time around.

Every time I look at the letter or think about calling I burst into a bucket of tears.  I remember all the pain, frustration, heart break, worry and think about how I never expected this day to come.  Mom of soon to be 3.  I do realize that as part of our embryo donation we will hopefully be helping another families dreams come true and I feel blessed to be able to offer it, but it doesn't make it any less emotional.  Our DNA child/ren could possibly be out there someday and we will never know.  That will be with me every single day of my life.

Anyways, decision is made.  We are truly very lucky and I am so happy that we can help someone else.  I pray and I try to let go as I let God watch over my 7 embabies and their future.  I look at my 2 soon 3 beautiful children and thank God because there was a time I didn't know if I would ever become a Mom.


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Beating Winter Blues

Winter's in Wisconsin tend to be a little ... well... horrible.  This one has been no different.  We have had a few days of relief 40 degree weather and we definitely took advantage when we could.

We had a Zoo Day in January!  Much need relief from our cabin fever. 

Started this post last week so this was my 22 weeks picture.

 This week 23 weeks and morning sickness is pretty well acid reflux has kicked in.  I'm not sure which is worse.  I wake up to the crackling in my throat and it shows up on and off throughout the day.  This pattern is mirroring pregnancy number #2.  The good news is that the second tri has me feeling much better and with a little more energy.  I think if it wasn't the middle of winter and perhaps we had a little more sun I could say I was feeling good!  I felt my first kicks "on the outside" on my belly and can't wait to hopefully have Dick feel it too.  In February I'm looking forward to hopefully less weight gain, more energy and hopefully thinking about new room arrangements. 

I bought this to start inspiration for G#3's room! 
I'm excited to dig through old clothing totes and maybe a couple new things here and there.

Other exciting news is this week Leela (we call her our naked protester) has started potty training.  I'm going to be honest I really didn't want to, but after days/week maybe of stripping all her clothes off every time she had pee pee in her diaper I thought...heck why not!  She will be 21 months 2/9.  Very advanced I say!

Starting to make plans for March and a Mommy Weekend Away in Chicago.  Its been awhile and honestly I'm going a little stir crazy.

That's all for now!


Monday, January 23, 2017

Boy or Girl?

We are so excited to announce we are expecting another little boy!  Wow!  My gut feeling was boy, but to be honest I didn't have a clue.  I am weirdly super giddy about it.  Maybe the chance to go through all the old outfits or I have this feeling like, hey maybe I won't be totally clueless this time around? (Lie) Who knows but either way we have another little boy ready to steal our hearts due June 5th 2017.  The name you will have to wait :). 

Our last appointment with my current doctors office was the ultra sound last week and this week I will make my first visit with my new OB.  I decided to make the change due to the fact that the hospital in town where my OB delivers does not allow the opportunity for VBAC and the new one does.  Will I have one?  Who knows, do I want the option if it is a possibility?  YES!  After experiencing both I have to say the recovery from a vaginal was still painful, but being able to get up out of bed after delivery and no catheter is definitely worth a shot.  I guess we will wait and see how this baby wants to enter the world.

Richie was a little upset since he was sure he had another little sister on the way.  "I don't want a brother!"  Sorry honey, you don't have a choice.  Once I showed him the ultrasound pictures and we talked it over he was onboard.  Not sure Leela really understands what is going on yet.  When she does I don't think she is going to like it.

Tomorrow night we have a parent informational meeting for 3K.  What!?  Not possible!?  However, I think it is a good choice for our smart little man and the right decision for us.  He will start this fall after I am back to work.  Life will be pure insanity, but I'm sure we will figure out our stride as we always do.  Cheers to having a 3.5yr old, 2yr old and a newborn this summer!  Bite me infertility, I kicked your ass.


Monday, January 9, 2017

Life in 2017...soon arriving Party of 5

It seems as time goes on I have less and less time to blog.  Hm... I wonder  I crack up that I was able to post almost weekly when I was pregnant with Richie. many weeks am I with number 3?  *consults cell phone chart* Ah yes, 19 weeks today of course.  Actually we have our 20 week ultrasound next week so that should not be so hard to remember.  R & L tell me it is a girl.  I'm thinking boy.  We will see.

A few topics I'd like to discuss:
...goals: Amidst the winter blues I am excited to start a new year 2017 with high hopes and high goals (at least before June, then all chaos will begin).  Each year we sit and discuss the goals of the upcoming year labeling it 20XX the YEAR OF SAVINGS.  Then that never happens!  Obviously from previous posts you can see we did some major renovations last year.  We were able to sit down and discuss real plans to pay down the home equity loan we used to pay for it setting aside a weekly amount at least until June.  I'm excited, its ambitious but doable. 

...where do we put all these babies?  We have a little rearranging to do before #3 arrives including moving our bedroom downstairs into the room now labeled "toy room", moving L our of her current room "the nursery" and making adjustments to "the nursery" depending on if we are having a little boy or girl.

conversations from the potty... we have made definite strides with potty training our 3 year old.  He started at about age 2.75 ... hm you know what I mean.  He has his ups and downs but here is the part that has me laughing and questioning my parenting skills.  We aren't modest in front of our kids.  Often times when nature calls an adult will be using the bathroom at the same time as R or if one of us is in there he will yell out "I HAVE TO GO POTTY TOO"!  Okay get in here!  Now he has started noticing things like never before... Momma are you pushing "it" down?  We always have to remind him to push it down to keep it from spraying every where. Ummmm  eek oh um no honey, Momma doesn't have to push it down.  As immature as it sounds we have settled on calling "it" a wiener is that bad?  I know I should be saying penis but I just can't.   Anyways, honey Moms don't have wieners.  "OH does Grandma have a wiener?" No honey.  Only boys like you and Daddy.  ...more thinking... "where does the pee come from then?"  Ohhhhh many questions.  Yup I said it..."girls have vaginas".  Blank stare.  Conversation to be continued at a later date...  Even more entertaining is our 20 month old girl being super interested in potty training being in the bathroom when Daddy is going potty.  *Mind blown*

Anyways, here we sit in 2017 ready to become a family of 5...if you told me in 2012 that was my future... "Julie in 2017 you will have a family of 5" I would have probably had some choice words for you because it sounds almost as unbelievable as it is.  R will be 3.5, L will be 2 and we will have a newborn.  Unbelievable and crazy!  As always I move forward trusting my gut instincts, working hard for what I want and putting my faith in God that he is right there next to me as we navigate this crazy life!