Monday, October 28, 2013

35 Weeks!

Ahhh the never ending battle with the insurance company...  I finally got my first bill for prenatal appointments and everything is totally messed up.  Why should I expect anything less?  I think I have figured out what needs to be done, but now I just have to wait for the health insurance and doctors office to straighten things out.  Why should anything be easy ever?  I also found out I need to be pre-certified before I go to the hospital or could end paying an extra $500 if I don't.  Can I call and do that now?  Nooooo...I should wait until I am closer to delivering.  What the heck is wrong with this world?  Oh honey my water broke and the first thing we need to do is call the insurance company.  Come on!!!

In happier news, we had a great weekend kicked off with a Halloween party at my friend's house.  We dressed up as a "bee family":
Dick was the beekeeper, Lady was a little bee and I was the beehive.  It was a lot of fun!  Saturday my good friend Keely came to visit and we spent some time out and about, eating marvelous foods and even had time to bum out on the couch, watch a horror movie and catch up.

Sunday was my family's side baby shower!  It was so wonderful and I must admit my baby is going to be very spoiled.  We got a lot of wonderful gifts and it was so nice to see family & friends.  It is exciting to know the next time I will see many of them they will be getting to meet our baby!

When I got home Dick was bartending so I brought in a few of the gifts, but plunked down to watch the Packer Game and relax (my back and hips are killing me these days).  There seems to be an extra amount of pressure down there and at times I feel like I am definitely waddling as opposed to walking.  I'm sure that is pretty standard at this point in my pregnancy and only means we are getting closer!  The only other major discomfort is the non-stop acid reflux that can no longer be controlled by tums.  I need to run out later today and get something stronger!

Things get no less busy this weekend as we head out of town for my 3rd and final baby shower for Dick's side of the family.  (I told you baby was going to be spoiled!!!) 

I took this picture yesterday and thought this was a good one to share as my belly pic for the week:


Monday, October 21, 2013

34 Weeks!

Yes, only 6(ish) weeks to go until BABY!

Last week was difficult trying to get back into a normal routine (if you are wondering why see previous post first).  Emotionally it was nearly impossible, but physically going to work, doing normal things around the house, being at home all made things start to feel a little like normal.  There are still the constant reminders of Dad being gone, but we've made it two weeks.  I continue to take things one day at a time.  Everyone seems to be holding up okay.  Dad taught us to be strong and this is no exception.  I remember as kids he would tickle our feet and say "Now you need to learn control so no laughing."  I don't know if he was happy or bummed when he could finally tickle our feet without even a giggle from us.  I remember being so proud of myself that I had 'control'.

I often think of all the things Dad had taught me and all the things I want to pass down to our baby.  I didn't always understand why my parents did things the way they did, but the intention was always in our best interest.  After the experience last week I've realized our family bond is stronger than I even imagined it was.  We have Mom & Dad to thank for that.  They have always treated each of us as special, but no one better than the other.  Each of our experiences have been different because all three of us have different interests, but we have always been supported no matter what.  That is how I want to raise our baby.

This week I start the beginning of weekly doctor appointments.  I had one of my baby showers (yes I am spoiled and will have 3 total).  All signs, including my gigantic belly point to the fact that baby will be here shortly.  I have been feeling good for the most part.  It is getting harder to pick things up, sit for long periods of time, stand for short periods of time, and all the things that are expected.  However, I am still sleeping at night, able to get out and about whenever needed (don't tell Dick this he might stop doing late night runs to the store for me) and overall feeling pretty good.

Last but not least the thing I am feeling above and beyond all is LOVED.  In the past two weeks I have either seen or heard from almost everyone who has ever touched my life and that is very special to me.  We don't always get to say it to each other but I have heard I love you repeatedly, gotten more hugs and kisses and despite our loss feel like together we can all keep moving forward supporting each other and remembering my Dad as one of the most special people who has touched all of our lives.


Monday, October 14, 2013

33 Weeks

As mentioned last week, everything has been very hectic with the passing of my Dad.  I wrote this midweek last week and thought it was important to share.  It was kind of my, holy shit moment:

I woke up this morning as I have every morning the past 4 days thinking about Dad. Today was a little different I wasn't crying, but feeling hopeful and decided to pray and thank God for His plan and not understanding it, but asking that He would continue to take care of us and bring us closer together as a family.  Then I got smacked with it...THE PLAN...

I've been looking everywhere the past 7 1/2 months for some sort of explanation for everything that has happened or some sort of "reason" for our infertility.  While I've found some good that has come out of it, there hasn't been that "Holy Shit Moment".  As I was praying this morning and thinking about what has happened the past days I began to realize:  I haven't gone hunting this fall because I am finally pregnant. Holy shit!!! I may still be alive right now because of the years of infertility and now being pregnant at just the right time. 

The next thing that occurred to me is that the past 4 years, Dad and I have been closer than ever taking fishing trips, spending time at the cabin, going on Harley rides and going hunting together.  Had I gotten pregnant and had a baby as soon as I wanted to a lot of that time together would have never happened.  Going through infertility has also given me this strength and ability to cope that I did not have years ago.

Everything that has ever happened has led to this moment and while it is still so sad and devastating that God decided to take Dad to heaven, out of all of us he was the most ready. 
No matter how terrible and difficult this situation has been, God has taken every moment the past couple days to reveal to us part of His bigger plan.  While I'd give anything to have Dad back there is a certain peace we can feel knowing that God is in charge and that we only need to trust and believe in Him.

I'm still struggling.  This has been very difficult and continues to be difficult, but every day I think "okay we've made it a week, a week and a day etc.".  I'm just so happy God has given us this miracle to look forward to in December and that helps too.

Either later this week or next week I will share my maternity photos and hopefully get back to taking weekly photos.

Thanks for your support,


Monday, October 7, 2013

32 Weeks

This week has been tragic for us with the sudden passing of my Dad this past weekend.  My emotions are about spent and there is still a long week ahead of us.  Please keep us in your prayers as we deal with our loss and figure out how to move forward without him.  I will write more once things have calmed.