Monday, June 18, 2012

Jumping Back in With Two Feet - IUI #2

I am TERRIBLE at relaxing (ask my husband, it drives him crazy).  I have a really hard time sitting still let alone waiting for something to happen.  I guess what I am trying to say is my IF "break" is over.  I thought I was going to wait the summer, see what happened but I just couldn't keep sitting back and waiting.  This cycle we are moving forward with IUI #2.

I had one of those magical epiphanies where you feel like God is trying to tell you something.  I thought at first he was punishing me, trying to make my life miserable, but the more I thought about it I realized, nope he is just providing me the strength and motivation I need to keep moving forward.  I know now that this is what I am supposed to be doing.  Not taking a back seat as IF runs my life, but putting up a fight and giving this everything I have.  Now as a warning, this won't be pretty.  It is going to be difficult and emotionally painful but at this point I know what I am getting myself into.  I've done it before and I can do it again.  I'm not going to stop until they finally tell me that it is not physically possible to have children.

This will be a test.  A test of my relationship with my husband, a test of my own strength and a test for those closest to me.  I have been and will continue to be open about our infertility.  I know this makes some people uncomfortable.  I know that as more and more of my friends begin to start their own families they may want not want to hear about our struggles because it is hard to hear.  I don't blame them. However, there are a few relationships that have grown stronger than ever because of this. 

Here is what I ask of you who want to move forward with me into battle:
  1. Prayers - please this is #1 for me for a reason.
  2. Supportive notes, comments or emails.  You can't imagine how much this brightens my day and I will be needing it.  Especially keep June 30th - July 2st as those are the U/S and IUI possible dates.
  3. Awareness - people don't like to talk about infertility, but it is REAL and affects so many people.  Be respectful of those couples who do not yet have children.  You never know what they are/have gone through.
Thank you for following my blog and welcome to cycle 33 of TTC.



Jen said...

Hi Julie. I came across your blog actually because I googled "IUI#2" just to see if anyone else was in the same boat as I am. Well, it looks like not only are we in the same boat, but we are in the same time frames as well. As another Christian I totally understand where you are coming from and your insight gave me some hope. I also have a blog and I will be following you throughout your journey. Here is mine if you wanted to tag along with mine as well. Best of luck to you this time around.

Julie said...

Hi Jen, Sounds like we are in the same boat. Even down to the fact that my first niece is also named Addison! Good luck to you as well and I will be checking your blog!

Pearl said...

You have so many wonderful moments ahead of you Julie. It's so scary not knowing what's in front of you, but I'm glad to hear you are in a good place. Best of luck! I can't wait to read about tears of joy and two pink lines!!