Monday, December 14, 2015

7 Months

My Leela is now 7 months old.  
She can sit up on her own and is scooching herself around backwards.  It won't be long till she takes off.  She definitely has grown more independent and loves her make up mirror toy.  Still a mommas girl to the core!

I'm still breast feeding and have lots in storage.  She has her 2 bottom teeth and  the drool is telling me the top two aren't far behind.  She also is eating 2 meals puréed per day.

We are looking forward to Christmas and spoiling our babies!  Richie is getting a Harley Big Wheels and big boy undies.  Leela is getting books and a leap frog picnic basket and various other little toys.

Things are good and life is crazy!


Monday, December 7, 2015

Richard Roger is TWO!

Holy cow!  My baby turned two last week.  I'll start with a few stats:

Height 35"
Weight 29 pounds 12 ounces

I'm excited his party is coming up this weekend.  We had a small dinner with my Mom and brother on his actual birthday and opened a few gifts.  It was a lot of fun.  I hope to make that a tradition.  I was just reminiscing this weekend and watching a few "old" videos of just earlier this year and how much Richie has changed in the last year.  Just one year ago he was just starting to walk, saying just a few words and now he is a walking talking hilarious toddler.  He is a little boy to the max, he loves being outside, playing with his trains, BIG trucks & tractors, he enjoys coloring and recently we did a little stickering.  He also knows his colors and is starting to learn numbers.  His favorite number is 8.  LOL!  I'm not sure why but that is the one he will always say.  He dislikes the vacuum, loudish noises, Santa & that's about it.  He is my independent & adventurous boy!  Often times when he doesn't want to leave somewhere I will start saying goodbye to him like I am going to leave and he just waves and says bye Momma.  He is also quite the comedian.  He likes getting a reaction out of people and will keep an eye on you when he is trying to be funny.  If he gets the reaction he wants he takes it a step further.  He can't get enough of his Na Na (my Mom) and makes her laugh.

Na Na lives just a few hundred feet away from us so he is able to go over for frequent visits.  He also loves his baby sister and as she is getting older I am starting to see them interact more.  The other day they were both in our dining room making faces at each other and laughing.  It made my heart melt.

He is having a farm themed birthday party.  I will have to post pictures next time.


Friday, November 13, 2015

6 Month Update with Stats

Yesterday was Leela's 6 month appointment.  Everything went well!  Here are the stats:

Height 26.7"  - - 77%
Weight 16 lb. 13oz.  - - 61%
Head 43 cm - - 73%

She is wearing size 9m clothing (some 6/9M) and going to be moving into 12m for the winter.

She sleeps mostly through the night in her room in her crib.  No feedings at night and usually only up 1-2x!

She has 2 bottom teeth.

She eats about 27-30 oz of milk per feeding and we just added another meal of purees at lunch and dinner.  She can sit fairly well on her own.  She does not hold her own cup but I am pretty sure that is because she thinks she is a princess and doesn't have to.  I am still pumping at work and I now make a bottle before I go to bed which is getting her though her bottle feedings at daycare.  I have approximately 1000 oz in the freezer and feel extremely blessed.  My goal is for her to make it to 11 or 12 months and go straight to whole milk.  We will see how my supply lasts!  Here is her 6 month photo where she was grumpy and feverish from teething.


Monday, November 9, 2015

Are we out of survival mode yet?

The first months of a newborns life are extremely hectic.  Sleepless nights, constant feedings, stress of making decisions like "is this normal", "should I call the doctor" "am I a good parent"?  On top of that you finally think you've got your shit together and then teething begins.  We are lucky and the first go round we had a real trooper.  Besides the drool and chewing on everything Richie made it through teething fairly easily.  Leela is now teething and it seems like it is taking much more of a toll on her.  She has had a fever for days, she is grumpy and overall just seems uncomfortable. 

Anyways, having back to back children has made our lives feel like we are in constant survival mode.  Throw in moving between the two babes and its a wonder we made it through!  However, here we are Leela is 1/2 a year old and we survived and things just keep getting better.  She is becoming more independent and more importantly she is sleeping better!  We waited longer than we should have to begin sleep training and we paid for it dearly.  The sleepless night went on way too long and the unnecessary nighttime feed has finally been cut.  I'm able to string together more than 3 hours of sleep at a time.  I'm not saying we are out of the woods, but every once and awhile I can say I feel rested and that is a big deal!

This weekend marked a huge weekend for me.  It was the first time in a long time things felt calm and routine.  We stayed home.  We baked.  We had a fire in the fireplace.  We watched the Packers get their butts kicked.  We cleaned.  We went to church.  We snuggled.  We were content.  We were happy!

It got me thinking...hey...maybe we no longer have to live in survival mode.  Maybe we can just live! 



Thursday, November 5, 2015

6 Months & Mr. Big Boy Bed

So much has happened this month!  Richie has moved into his big boy bed, Leela is in her crib.  She has been sleeping so much better and going to bed earlier 7:30-8.  Almost the same time as Richie.  She is a side sleeper like her Momma.  She started solids this month along with still nursing.  She takes 3 - 5oz bottles at daycare and one solid meal at dinner.  Like her brother she likes sweet potatoes and carrots and again we are making our own baby food.  We are so excited to have over 900 oz frozen breast milk and I'm still pumping enough each day at work so we haven't had to use much of it.

She can sit up and loves playing in her kitchen.  She is very chatty and thus far is a mommas girl!  Tonight we noticed she popped her first tooth!!!  Halloween was this past weekend and I had a little duck and a chicken.  

We've been so busy with work and parenting and house chores its kind of nice to have the kids sleeping early so we can relax.

Richie cracks me up every day whether it's his excitement about BIG trucks or asking "you okay"? Every time I sneeze.  He loves Thomas the train and Mater from Cars.  He also loves to color and paint. 

He also loves being outside.
Somehow I've managed some time for myself!  2x per week I stay after work and go for a run with my coworker before I pick up the kiddos.  A couple weekends ago I spent a day/night in Madison and saw Wicked, ate ice cream, and ate at a German restaurant and drank a boot of beer!

I must say life is exhausting but amazing!

I feel so blessed to have what we have and be where we are at in life.  I'm a firm believer that God answers prayers and He has given us more than I could have ever imagined.


Monday, October 19, 2015

Mommy's night away

Last weekend was my first night away in quite some time.  I scheduled a visit with my good friend Keely who lives down in Chicago.  Let me start off by saying I started this trip off fairly tired!  Baby girl woke approximately 8x the night before so I was really appreciative of a night away.  So I hit the road around 9AM

When I arrived around 11:45 there was lunch on the table and man was I ready to scarf the delicious soup and pizza bread!

Next we hopped on a bus to take a "fall stroll" on the 606, an old railroad turned walking/bike path in the city.  We made sure to grab a latte, pumpkin spice of course and do a little shoe shopping (Toms) before hitting the trail.  It was a beautiful day!

Now keep in my I am a breastfeeding Momma so this trip did not come without its "pumping breaks" however my hostess was extremely accommodating.  We made sure to grab cinnamon apple graham cracker custard though before heading back.

Though I'm not much of a baseball fan I agreed to watch the Cubs play in the post season series because I was told there would be delicious beers to drink.  I watched the game and mainly played around on a new app I downloaded called untappd.  A fun app to keep track and log different varieties of beers!

Since our original stop was only streaming the game and kept experienced get technical difficulties we finished the game at a bar called The Globe and ate appetizers.

That was about all I could handle and we made our way back.  We finished the night with a Honey Butter chicken sandwich and I fell asleep.

The next day we went down to cheer on a friend in the Chicago marathon
and it was such an inspirational experience.  I am now amped up to start running again and signed up for a Thanksgiving 5K!

I made it home to my honey and my babies just in time to watch the end of the packer game and spend some time outside

Yes indeed Mommas need breaks too!

I'm so lucky to have a husband who agrees!!


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

5 Months

Here we are (in a couple days)...Miss Leela is 5 months and she is a rolling maniac.  She rolls both directions now and I put her down in one spot and come back and she is facing another direction or has rolled several times and is turned clockwise.  She is my cuddle buddy, this girl loves a good snuggle and I can't say it isn't great (most of the time).  She has however gained the nickname "little diva" because Leela wants what she wants, when she wants it.  Sometimes it has to do with eating, but sometime not.  Sometimes she just wants to be held.  She has not started solids yet, but we are thinking within the next month.

She still is waking up once or twice a night...sometimes more.  I must be honest, we are really tired most of the time. No teeth yet, but there is some drooling going on that may indicate they are coming soon.

All is good with Richie as well.  He is a talking fool!  He lets you know what he wants and tells you when he wants milk, juice, his favorite snack is a fruit bar "BAR"!!!!  His favorite food item is mandarin oranges.  I can't believe he is getting so close to being two!  Right now his favorite toy is his lawn mower which he calls "MOW - NER".
He makes me laugh every day.  He also loves his Na-Na (Grandma) who should be moving into her new house within a week!  We are all very excited for her.

Well my little diva is calling so I need to run!



Thursday, September 10, 2015

4 Months & 21 Months

Leela Stats:

Height: 25"
Weight: 15 pounds 2 oz

We just finished up with Leela's 4 month appointment.  She is a healthy growing girl!  However, after checking stats with her big brother she isn't quite as long as he was.  Richie was right around 27" at this age!  We have a very happy baby girl on our hands.  She is very close to rolling from her back to her tummy.  I think within the next couple weeks she will be there.  She is sleeping very well, generally getting up once at 3:30-4:30 and falling asleep around 8:00.  She has 3 - 5oz bottles at daycare.  Richie is a powerhouse sleeper, tucking him in at 7:00 PM and usually not hearing him again until 6 - 6:30 AM.  That is unless he loses "nuk".  That ticks him off.

I am back at work and we have finally started settling into our new routine.  I miss my babies, but it is good to have income again!  We have a busy fall schedule with our upcoming weekends and I am looking forward to going to a Packer Game in a couple weekends!

We had our house warming party this past weekend and had lots of friends and family stop by.  My Mom's house is getting very close to being move in ready and then we will be "empty nesters" since my brother moved out earlier this month.  It will just be the four of us.  I'm excited and sad at the same time.  Its always nice with these two to have an extra set of hands to help.  Richie is an outdoor enthusiast.  He throws tantrums mainly because he want to go ..."OOUUUTSIIIIIIIIDE".  His favorite activities are pushing his mower, hauling wood pieces around and going on walks.  He can walk the entire length of our 1/4 mile driveway and back...I take that back, he mows it. LOL!  He doesn't have another check up until his 2nd birthday but he is currently wearing 2T pants and 2T or 3T shirts and wearing size 7 shoes which are already getting tight.  Leela is rocking 6 month clothing as it quickly is getting short on her arms.  I can only imagine she will be in 6-9 and 9 before long.

We are extremely blessed and so happy to be where we are at in life.  The only thing I could ask for is one more hour of sleep! LOL!


Monday, August 17, 2015

3 months

A little late on this one.  Leela is growing like a weed, we are now in 6 month clothing (still sz 1 diapers).  She has started developing into such a sweet little person who likes to play on her own!  Her favorite is laying on her floor mat and admiring the beautiful baby in the mirror while kicking up a storm.  She also enjoys the saucer.
She is doing lots of squeaks and smiles and also now giggles.  I started back to work which deserves its own post.  Anyways off to sleep.


Thursday, July 23, 2015

I need to stop beating myself up

So here it is... My post about my post baby body.  I am going to be honest I gained over 50 pounds with each of my kids.  Just as I had lost the 55 pounds I gained the first time around I found myself pregnant again.  Last time I found motivation quickly to run and eat healthy and lose weight quickly.  This time I dropped 30 pounds in the first week and here I am stuck with 20 extra pounds.  I have no motivation to run or eat healthy.  I need to remind myself it has only been over 10 weeks ... Seriously what this body has done in less than 2 years is completely amazing.  I need to remember that I am providing the source of food for my little girl and that I am going to eat more than normal and that's okay.  I need to remember that I'm not 22 anymore, I'm 31 and these things take time.  I need to remember that my children and husband love me for who I am and they don't care my tummy isn't flat, my hips have gotten wide and curvy and the scar from my c-section allows my tummy to spill over.  I will eventually lose the weight, I will continue to regain my fitness and I will feel good about my body again.  In the meantime I am going to love this body.


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Remembering My Amazing Dad

Remember I was going to get another tattoo in memorial of my Dad?  Then this happened instead and I had my Leela girl instead!!  Well I finally found a free moment and came through with my new tattoo!

So as stated I wanted to do something to connect my two current tattoos in a memorial to my Dad.  Here is what I have to work with.

After a few different ideas I came up with forget-me-nots for a few different reasons...

1.  They are absolutely beautiful 
2.   The name, totally perfect
3.   The holy shit how perfect...they are the Alaskan state flower

Those of you who didn't know my Dad, he loved Alaska!  In his 20's he moved up there and worked on the Alaskan pipeline back in the 70's, and so as kids instead of bedtime stories we would hear stories about when Dad lived in Alaska.  It was awesome!

In October of 2013 he passed away and ever since then I've been missing him and his stories.  Anyways I won't make you wait any longer:

Friday, July 10, 2015

2 months with stats

My little toots is 2 months old already!  She is just over 12 pounds and 23".  Nothing crazy but very healthy.  She can still wearing 0-3 but moving right along into 3-6.  Just 3 weeks of leave left and today more than ever I thought to myself well going back to work will be okay!

She sleeps usually 8-9pm through anywhere between 1-3am depends on the night and then usually to 5-6am.  Pretty good stretches!  We are really in the swing of things and have a somewhat nice routine of naps and eating during the day.  Most days we get lucky with at least one or two big naps 2-3 hours and Richie and I wonder around outside picking berries, playing in the sand box or water table.  I have a video monitor to keep an eye on Leela.

I have to admit though I am tired!!! That deep down tired that no amount of naps can cure and who am I kidding I don't get naps!  2 kids is different because there is no sleep when the baby sleeps because you are chasing around a toddler.  A very busy active toddler who like to get into things!  Speaking of sleep I need to get to sleep!!!  That's all for now!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Big Brother...little Sister

I can't deny I was excited when I found out we were having a girl. I've always had hoped to have one of each a boy and a girl.  I have always felt lucky to have brothers and I hope Leela feels the same way.

Richie and Leela have settled in nicely to the roles of big brother and little sister.  Richie really wants to help with his little sister but hasn't quite figured out the word gentle.  So I spend a lot of my day trying to keep him occupied and keep her happy.  Each day is different based on how well everyone has slept and everyone's temperament for the day.  I do try to include some time where he can be near her and we can practice being gentle.  Sadly most of the time this leads to Richie ending up in time out.

Finding things to keep a toddler occupied during the day is exhausting.  Everything is really interesting for about five minutes and then he is ready to be onto the next thing.  That is fine when I am not occupied by feeding the baby or it is something he finds to do inside while the baby is awake.  Generally whenever she falls asleep we try to sneak outside and keep an ion her with our video baby camera.  The latest and greatest outdoor activity is his new sandbox.  As I figured it was cool for about five minutes.  Richie loves going into the garden with me and helping pull weeds and loves it when I hand him a vegetable or fruit to eat.  Right now it is raspberries and we are both loving it.

Leela has the started developing her personality.  She still spends most of her time sleeping but is having longer periods of awakeness and smiling.  She spits up a lot more frequently than Richie ever did and we are trying to find the culprit.  The past few days I have been trying to cut out dairy to see if that will help however I am afraid that my letdown is just too strong and that has been causing her to spit up.  She doesn't seem nearly as bad when she drinks out of a bottle.  I am hoping she just grows out of that because she will be able to handle the letdown better as she gets older.

I have just about four weeks left of maternity leave and I'm really enjoying my time.  I love being out in the country and just love my new house.  We still have a houseful including my mom and brother but my mom should be moving to her new house in September.

Well I better get to bed she will be awake soon to eat!

Thursday, June 11, 2015

18 months & 1 month

Holy cow it's been a month since my little Leela was born and 18 months since my Richie was born.

I took the full 12 weeks off so I've been home with the babies and loving it.  We closed on our house and I've never been so happy in my life!  Currently my days are filled with playing, watching Elmo & breast feeding.  For myself in enjoying walks and gardening.  It's wonderful being in the country!  Richie runs and runs outside, we go on walks and wagon rides.  Last weekend 6/7/15 Leela was baptized with uncle Rob and Aunt Liz as sponsors.

We continue to keeps schedule for Richie and it includes a 2ish hour afternoon nap and bedtime at 7.  Leela is up 2x per night which isn't bad.  I'm giving her strictly breast milk including a bottle here and there of pumped milk and currently have 79oz frozen.  It's hectic watching 2 but so much fun.  Here are a few pictures.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Leela Jane Has Arrived

The first thing I want to say is that I am sitting here feeding a healthy Leela Jane but she decided to come into the world with a bang. Two weeks ago Thursday  I went into my appointment with the OB.  I was shocked and disappointed to find out that the baby was laying sideways transverse and not to head down. We immediately scheduled to come in to the hospital next day to have her flipped and it was a long day waiting and I was extremely stressed out about it.

So the next day Dick and I came into the hospital not really knowing what to expect. The doctor came in and explained a little bit more about the procedure and that they would be pushing on my stomach in hopes that she will turn and be facedown.  So they began and it was extremely painful and unsuccessful. So they gave me a little break and a shot to relax my uterus. Then they begin pushing again and they pushed and pushed and pushed and finally baby girl turned facedown.  I was so excited that I began crying and felt so much relief because the alternative would be to do a scheduled C-section the following week.  Now we could sit back and wait for labor to begin. So the next week I headed back to work as usual and waited for our next OB appointment.  Nothing unusual really happen that week other than I had begun feeling Braxton Hicks contractions.  Finally Friday rolls around and I was checked at the OB at 3 cm and head down!  The waiting game would continue and I was scheduled to be induced the next Thursday if nothing had happened by then.  Little did I know I was going to be in for a crazy night.

After work I had planned to hang out and spend the night at my friend Beka's house who lives in Fort Atkinson.she has a son who is four months younger than Richard and they also go to the same daycare.  Everything was going great and we gave the boys a bath. Shortly after it was time for bed. An hour in Richard woke up screaming and I ran downstairs to check what was the matter. Poor baby had pooped his pants and needed to be changed. He then went straight back to sleep.

So we continue to relax and hang out when all of a sudden I felt my first contraction around 8:00 PM. I didn't think that much about it because it was extremely light and just felt like a slight cramping feeling. However five minutes went by and I felt another.  It was also extremely light but I decided I should probably start tracking these. So again in another five minutes I had another in it when I'm like this until they started getting strongerso I decided it was time to give Dick a call. He was in Watertown and after chatting he told me I should call him in another half hour if things progressed. Well shortly they began getting stronger and stronger and stayed five minutes apart so I decided to give the hospital a call. They asked if I had tested positive for strep B and I had so they told me to come in immediately.   I began to panicbecause we didn't have anybody to take the boys and we would have to take them with us or wait for Dick to get to FortAtkinson.  So we called our friend Lorrie Who is also Richie's babysitter to see if she was available to come pick me up and take me but she was home alone as well with her kid.  She made a few calls and had someone watch her kids so she could come pick me up.  By the time we got to the hospital Dick was already there waiting for me and they got me in a wheelchair and took me up to the room.  By this time the contractions were fast and furious and I was in a lot of pain when I got to the room they began to monitor me immediately and started the anabiotic for the strep B.  They asked if I wanted to start pain meds as well but I was unsure so I waited a few more contractions and then decided I needed to get an epidural.

By this time I was already 5 cm Head was downand they called in the anesthesiologist.  What seems like a lifetime he finally came in and began to get my epidural started. Through contractions I had to sit still and wait for him to get the epidural in place.  I began to feel relieved but only on half of my body the other half did not take. Shortly later they check me again and I was fully dilated and we heard a pop my water broke.  She went to check me again and began to panic because she could not feel the head or anything else so they call the doctor immediately.  Then I began to panic and cry.  The on-call doctor came in Dr. Dillon and confirmed that she had turned when my water broke and that we would immediately have to do a C-section.  At this point I began to cry hysterically but I knew what we had to do to get a healthy baby.  They immediately begin prepping me for surgery and in what seems like a blur I was laying on the operating table ready to go.  Another lifetime past and suddenly I heard my sweet baby crying and again I began to blubber.  I did not get to see her right away but Dick immediately went over by her and said she is healthy and he cut the cord.  Finally they brought her over to me but after just seconds I felt nauseous and they had to take her because I had to throw up.  They had done a spinal block on me and it must've been too heavy because I could feel a heavy weight on my chest and it felt like I couldn't breathe. They finished the procedure and finally took me to the recovery room and I could finally see my baby.  She began to nurse immediately and I realized I had a pro on my hands.  I had to sit in the recovery room until I could move my toes and it was the strangest feeling looking at my feet but not having them be able to move.  By this time more deliveries were being done at the hospital and the nurses were coming and going.  I had to stay in the recovery room until about five in the morning when I could finally move my toes.   Dick had taken baby back to the room and they were both snoozing peacefully when I arrived.  I went to sleep.

The next day grandma came to come and pick up Richie and my friend Beka brought him up to the hospital to meet his little sister.  He ran around the hospital room a little bit pushing buttons and trying to pull my catheter out. We decided it was time for grandma to take him home.  My brother and his family also visited later that day as well as my coworker Kathleen. We stayed in the hospital until the following Tuesday. She was monitored each night for Bilirubin and they continued to check my incision and everything looked great!

I am happy to say that everyone is happy and healthy and even though a C-section was not what I wanted I am so happy that everything worked out so well.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Soon to be a family of four

Here I sit on my deck 37 weeks & 5 days pregnant.  We have been busy, I mean like really busy and there hasn't been much time to sit and relax.  Even when I do have the time I sit on my deck writing a blog rather than just sitting and doing nothing.  I guess I just enjoy being busy.  That will suite me well in the coming weeks when we will become a family of four.

I'm excited but nervous at the same time.  How will we handle two?  Am I ready for the sleep deprivation?  What if baby girl is colicky?  I guess as with all things we will figure it out.  This time around I tested positive for strep b which sucks but I don't think really that big of a deal.  I have pretty much everything as ready to go as I can and now I sit and wait.  Sit and enjoy my little Richie.  I rest up because I know exactly how exhausting it is to have a newborn, breastfeed and now a toddler as well.

So I guess I will take my own advice, step away from the iPhone, close my eyes and relax.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

We Are Here

What a blur the past weeks have been!  I'm not going to get too detailed because I'm updating from my phone but here we are moved into our new house and almost exactly one month to go until babies arrival! Everything went well with the moves but unfortunately mixed into moving and closing on the house my Grandmas passed away.  I had a great opportunity to speak with her and tell her I loved her and a last good bye.  I am so thankful because with my Dad I never got the chance being a tragic accident.

So here we are living with my Mom and brother temporarily and honestly it isn't bad at all!  In fact it's almost convenient having help around the house, shared meals, someone to watch Richie while I cook or use the bathroom.  This should last a few more months while my moms house is being built. Perfect timing for having help with the new baby!

As for updates I am currently 35-1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling big but good.  My little man is 16-1/2 months old and the happiest funniest little person you could meet. He keeps us on our toes and with a solid daily schedule has had very little trouble with the big transition we have made.  Let's throw a little sis in next!  Anyways I better try to get back to sleep since my long nights of sleeping are soon going to be gone!

Here is our 2015 Easter Selfie in front of our new house:

Saturday, February 7, 2015

All of the Changes At Once

After tossing and turning for the past hour (its 2:35 AM), I decided to use this pregnancy insomnia to write a blog about all the things we have going on.  In January we got an offer on our house and after some back and forth accepted!!  We will close in early April...yes, I am due in May! Eeks!  I can't remember how much detail I have gone into on this topic, but last year we decided to place our house up for sale for a couple reasons.  The first being this little 2 bedroom ranch is too small for our growing family and second being my Mom needed to downsize from her 4 bedroom farmhouse.  We made the decision to buy it from her and we would move just after we sell our current home.  

Here is the kicker, she is going to be building her new home so we will be roomies until that process is complete.  Here is the second kicker, my younger brother is temp living at home until he finds a new place.  Talk about a "full house."  (see what I did there :).  So let's see...we are moving, we are having a baby...what else could I do to make this more interesting??? Oh I may be changing jobs too...however, the good news is it wouldn't be that big of a change and it would be within the same company.  I'm not 100% sure on all the details of that, but while you are flipping your entire life upside down you have to go all in right??!

We are extremely excited and overwhelmed all at the same time.  We have already begun the process of preparing our 'new' home by cleaning out bedrooms, painting and refurbishing the hardwood floors.  Since I now have 2 children's bedrooms to prepare I have been busy planning themes and picking out things here and there.  If I wasn't so overwhelmed with everything else in life, I would be in heaven!  Baby Girls room will have a black and white color theme with splashes of pink.  Richards room will be a World Traveler theme with neutral tan walls and a blue accent wall.  Both will have hardwood floors with area rugs.

Speaking of babies...Richard is now 14 months old and a walking machine.  He is done with crawling...crawling is for babies and HE is a TODDLER.  This little boy is so energetic and fun and all the things I love, but struggle to keep up with being 26 weeks pregnant.  He loves chattering and copying words you are saying...momma, dadda, baby, and just shrieking randomly in delight.  He throws tantrums here and there, but they are generally short lived and can be easily averted by distracting him with a new toy.  He loves stacking, building and of course taking things out of drawers and now putting them back in.  I can't get enough of this funny little person!  He gives big open mouthed slimy kisses (he now has his top and bottom 4 front teeth and is working on 4 molars.

He is such a good eater and is now learning to eat with a plate and a fork.  I love watching him as he tries to fork something and when succeeds is proud as can be of himself.  His momma is too!  There is nothing I love more than being the over enthusiastic proud momma.  Oh stacked those threw the ball for the puppy....YEAH!!! made a poopy...yea!!!  LOL!  I LOVE IT.

On to #2 - baby girl!  As mentioned I am 26 weeks.  I am feeling mighty fine most of the time other than of course right now...and some lower back pain, but this pregnancy has been breezing by for the most part.  I was partially insane for awhile when our ultrasound came back that baby girl had a bright spot on her heart (Echogenic intracardiac focus).  That particular symptom when combined with other markers can be a marker for downs syndrome.  HOWEVER, I have no other markers at this point and the doctor assured me it can just be part of a normal pregnancy.  I took that information, was perfectly happy with her home... and had a total meltdown.  I never did the amniocentesis so wouldn't know if genetically there were any other markers, but again the doctor said there would have been other markers on the ultrasound and there were not.  I have certainly had my moments that I still worry, but come to the realization that no matter what happens I will love this baby girl with all my heart and in all reality there is an over 99% chance that she is perfectly normal despite this one marker.  

So there you have insane life.  I just go along one day at a time.  I take each challenge and work through it never trying to look too far ahead or I literally may just lose my mind.  On that note I better get back to sleep!


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Fertile Infertile: Living A Double Life

It happened...

I don't even remember where I was or who said it, but someone called me a "Fertile Myrtle".  No big deal right!?  In May I will have 2 children under the age of 2, so to the common person it seems as though it must be super easy for me to get knocked up!  It was so shocking to me to not only hear it, but to actually wonder...what am I?  Am I a Fertile Myrtle?  Am I still considered infertile?  I don't know where I belong.  Is there some place where people in my situation warp to when we no longer fit into the category of being infertile, but still not completely a normal fertile person?  

I wonder if maybe I am just that person that you hear know, your friends co-worker who went through 4 years of infertility before getting pregnant through IVF and then just magically got pregnant again after?  Oh shit!  I am that person!  I hate that person!

I know that I can still identify with someone experiencing infertility, but no longer live in the immediate pain of the unknown.  My story is resolved, my family has begun.  At times remembering infertility is like a horrible nightmare that couldn't have really happened.  There was no way that life could have been that cruel, but it was real.  I have the physical scars to prove it.  I have this blog to remind me what I went through and how I felt.  I remember the countless nights laying in bed crying myself to sleep and wondering how I would be able to get out of bed the next day.  I remember waiting each month only to be disappointed by the reality of another failed cycle.  Last but not least I have my absolutely beautiful amazing son conceived through ICSI IVF, my tangible proof that I battled infertility and I won.  

I am not fertile or infertile.  I will not let those terms define who I am.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

Happy New Year!

I'm already a little late but things have been hectic as usual.  Big news this month is our little man is walking!!  He started with a couple steps and then the next day took off.  I definitely know now why they are called Toddlers.  He certainly does toddle when he walks and thinks it is hilarious to get walking and then fall in a big dramatic heap.

Christmas was wonderful this year spending time with family and friends.  This year was odd having the holiday falling on Thursday so having to work on Friday.  Work is another story...I'm concerned about some hefty goals they've put into place basically doubling our activity and goals.  Nothing this 5 months pregnant Momma can't handle but sheesh bad timing as I get closer to my due date and more exhausted with long days.  I can only do my best right!?

Enough about work, Monday is our anatomy scan and gender reveal!!  I'm so excited although I'm fairly certain we have another little boy on our hands.  I guess we will see.  We are starting to discuss planning our move date!!  No movement on the house but I feel at some point with a baby on the way we need to get settled.  Hopefully it just sells and we are forced to get the heck out!

I look forward to 2015 with so much excitement for what is to come.  I cherish being a Momma to a wonderful Little boy and our little dove on the way.  I will never forget what it took to get where we are and cherish the strength I've gained by struggling.  Here's to the New Year!